Originally posted by UMD
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from the marble lined columns carved out from the remains of Michaelangelo's David to the plush leather seats carved out from the first skin of virgin cows harvested during the first full moon of the month. The showers emit only a mixture of Evian, Perrier and Krug and the towels are made from the silk of the ultra rare Ethiopian Silkworm, of which only 40 are known to exist because they breed once every century.
As you walk along the silenced floor which is dampened by a mixture of fairydust and nard, you may notice the air in here is more crisp than elsewhere. That is because the Private Room only uses pure Alpine air, airflown daily from Zurich and then further oxygenated with a special patented SIA process.
So please, come in and enjoy being waited on hand and foot by unspoiled vestal virgins.
Wait a minute, they're using refillable dispensers?!
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